Fake Friends

I mentioned before how I wanted to take the blog in a more expansive direction before. Now, this probably isn’t what anyone was expecting but fuck it I said I’d upload whatever I want. img_20160711_183323.jpg

This will probably hurt my credibility on the subject but I’m not too good with making friends (shocking I know). Not only do I have all the normal excuses of shyness, lack of social skills and anxiety but I just don’t share a lot in common with the majority of the human race (big surprise; most people don’t think the borg is a valid political idealogy). received_1761830814065637.jpeg

But while my experience in friendship is near identical to my sexual experience (none) I am literally blessed by the God ToGODshi with a few exceptional ones. Granted 95% are online but hey that’s not a problem right?

wrong  The internet takes all the worst traits of humanity and multiplies it to infinity. And when you combined that with my inexperience you get disaster (or comedy if you’re the dicks fucking with me). Now, this was a year ago and I admit I should get over it and for the most part have. I’ll also admit it was entirely my fault for being ignorant. That’s why I’m not going to rant about the specifics of why I’ll never join a FB group not of my own creation again. But more importantly it’s why I’m making this post. I intend to be pretty big someday (not movie star famous hopefully but more like good fiction writer famous lv) and I expect people to come across this blog one day. If I can save even 1 person like me the shitty emotions I felt around 1 year ago today I’d say this whole blogging thing has been worth it. So without further ado (suck it digibro XD) I give you:

How to spot a fake friend (got this from some site years ago and completely forgot where sorry)

  • They are two faced. They smile and laugh with you, but then slander you behind your back.
  • They want to know your information and secrets so they can gossip about others.
  • They always gossip about their other friends.
  • When you’re alone with each other it’s never a problem, but when others are around they constantly try to make you look bad.
  • They always belittle you, your talents, and your accomplishments.
  • They always make fun of you.
  • Everything is a competition to them. They always try to one up you.
  • They purposely give you bad advice so you don’t succeed or surpass them in something.
  • When they are around others they act like they don’t know you.
  • When you make a mistake they always gloat.
  • They use you for what you have and know. They always try to take advantage of you.
  • They are never there when you need them. In your time of need and when you’re going through bad things they run.
  • They never build you up and make you a better person, but are always bringing you down.
  • They close their mouths at the wrong times. They let you go down the wrong path and allow you to make mistakes.
  • They are critical. They always see the bad they never see the good.
  • They are manipulative.

So that’s basically what you’ll need to watch out for. Hopefully that helps someone. If not well at least more socially aware me of the future can look back and laugh. I won’t take it personally 😉

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2 thoughts on “Fake Friends

  1. Heavy post, I’m sorry for your experiences. Interesting that you chose to make it into a teaching subject instead of simply telling your experiences, even creating a list of abstract rules. I’m not sure about these rules though, since many of my best friends today made fun and took advantage of me constantly in our early years. I equate that with a mixture of being too young (since kids lack empathy, kids being 5 – 14) and bad education system. But even with all that bullying back then, we still had many friendly moments, almost like flipping a switch, so I guess that is why I endured it. It seems to me that your experiences were much worse than mine in an older age, so it’s an unfair comparison. Hard to tell since you didn’t contextualize them much here, which I feel would have enriched your post greatly.
    There are 2 main hardships one can find on making friends. Difficult in talking itself, and difficulty in relating. When I was younger, I didn’t care about food, drama, music or love, only cartoons and games. And even these last two, I didn’t know much on how to converse about them. So my difficulty was not in talking, but on relating. This basically meant that all I knew was to discuss, since it is a sort of conversation that is also a game. Growing up though, I learned to appreciate all these topics in many ways (analysis community was a major help), turning me into a good talker. Just ask people about what and why they like stuff with genuine interest, try seeing things from their perspective, and they will gladly be your friend.
    Have you written any fiction yet?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for your comments, they’re always great! I haven’t written anything yet but I have lots of ideas. And yeah looking back some more context probably would have made this better. Still it was more so an in the moment thing when I wrote it, kinda to put the past behind me. Your right about the rules being arbitrary, people have all types of relationships that work for tem after all.
      I also have difficulty in relating but being able to meet all kinds of people online has helped with that 🙂

      Like

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